“Mommy, I need to go potty!” “Hey Mom, can I stay after school with Joe?” “Mooooom, I am huuuuungry.” “Why can’t we stop and get French fries?” “Mom, I can’t find my glasses, oh, and I am out of lunch money.” “Ick, Mother do NOT do that in front of my friends. I mean seriously – ewww!” “Momma, I love you so much and I am giving you this worm as a present!” “Mom! The kitten pooped in my sneaker. Heeellllppp!! Mom! Where are you? I can’t wear my sneakers now!” “Where did Mom go? I think she might have locked herself in the bathroom again.”
From the moment you bring home your little bundle of joy, your role as a sexy and sensual woman seemed to take a back seat. The longer your feelings of sensuality and sexuality stay in the back seat, the easier it is to overlook them and it only becomes more difficult to reconnect with them. This has a major impact not only on your romantic relationship, but your relationship with YOU. So, how can you be a mom and be a sexy woman? Let’s count the ways, shall we.
Actually, these are just a few ways for you to revitalize your sensuality and rejuvenate your sexuality. Every woman is different. Every family has its own unique dynamics. Therefore, you, as an amazing unique woman, will likely resonate with some of the following suggestions, but not necessarily all of them. Take what feels right and use them. Leave the rest behind. This is about reconnecting with YOU.
Own Your Sensuality
You own your sensuality. No one else owns it or has control over it. It is up to you to enjoy and find pleasure in things through your senses. It is not up to someone else to create this for you nor is it for someone else to keep from you. It is, also, important to remember that sensuality is not necessarily related to sex. Sensuality can lead to sexual activity, but it does not have to. Sensuality is about gratifying your senses – taste, touch, sound, sight, smell, and intuition. So, relish the taste of a delicious meal. Enjoy the way certain clothes feel against your skin and how you look in them. Wear lotion or perfume that gratifies your sense of smell. Listen to a favorite song or the sweet sound of your children laughing. Be aware of your moments of inner knowing and your connection to the Divine or to the Universe. Be present in each moment and savor the sensations – whatever they are.
For you to live alive and feel sensual again, you need to reconnect with YOU and the things that light you up. It is common for moms to feel guilty or selfish if they spend time on themselves instead of focusing all of their attention on their family or work. Yet, when you lose touch with the core essence of yourself, you are actually doing a disservice to those around you let alone the disservice you are doing to yourself. You can only give to others what you have. If you are disconnected from you, if you are exhausted and lacking energy, if you have little to no love and compassion for yourself, then you can’t be at your best and you can’t shine your beautiful inner light upon those around you. Instead of feeling guilty about taking time for yourself, you need to realize that doing so is actually vital to your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health and it will greatly benefit your loved ones, your friends, and your co-workers too.
Be Playful and Hands-On
Laugh, smile, goof around, be silly, and share jokes with friends, your kids, your lover/partner/spouse. Open up to the playful child inside of you. She is deeply connected to your soul. Not only will she bring you joy, but she will help you relieve some of the stress and tension that we all endure. But, laughter is only one connection to the playful inner child. Typically children enjoy hugs and snuggles. Bring that back into your adult life. Touch and hug throughout your day. Obviously, if you have co-workers or employees, you need to be conscientious about touching, but you should hug your kids often teaching them that loving, appropriate touch is wonderful. Are you in a romantic relationship? Touch your lover’s arm or hand whenever and wherever. Feel the warmth of his/ her skin against your skin. To take this a step further, pay attention when you touch your own skin. In fact, take a moment right now to simply run your palms down your thighs from your hips to your knees. Simply be aware of how it feels. Notice the warmth; notice the energy slightly vibrating after this motion. If you close your eyes as you do this, you can heighten the sensation.
Communication is Key
You have probably heard this a million times, but it really is true. Letting your friends, family, and sweetheart know what you like and dislike is key to maintaining and/or building a strong bond between you. Of course, there are powerful communication tools that can help you achieve this, but that isn’t what this article is about. This is about revitalizing your sensuality. Therefore, have you/do you communicate with yourself? Do you know what you like and dislike? Are you open to finding those things out in a loving and compassionate way? We are so often told to communicate verbally and non-verbally with others if we want to connect with them, but we are rarely told to communicate with ourselves. Yet, the real key is having powerful communication with yourself – with your true self, your soul. It is important to better understand your emotional self, your mental self, and your spiritual self. When you do this you will better be able to understand your physical self and once again enjoy the sensuality of your physical body.
Enjoy your body and the sensations it offers you. Be open to your sensuality throughout your day everyday. As mentioned above, you need to open lines of communication with yourself, become truly aware of your senses as often as possible, and let go of any potential guilt for connecting to you! And as you finish reading this article, stand up, slightly bend your knees (keep your weight even throughout your feet), and circle your hips or bounce them from side to side. If you are ready, then add the sensation of running your palms up and down your thighs at the same time. This can be sexy, but the point is for you to start moving the sensual energy through your body, feeling it and allowing it to flow. And, if you feel silly, then woo hoo! You have also tapped into your playfulness.
You deserve to feel sexy and you deserve to feel sensual. Open yourself to your playfulness, selfcommunication, freedom from guilt and take back your sensuality.
We all know the typical stories of the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Most of us dread the winter months because of that mental connection and the old thought patterns of spending more or spending beyond our means in order to make people “happy.”
This season, I challenge everyone to look beyond the holiday wish lists and create other gift-giving alternatives that would make a difference in other peoples’ lives while making lasting memories as a family. All the shiny electronics and the sugar-filled goodies are still wonderful things to give and receive, but it’s time to take this season up a notch by doing something different for the community and / or your family as a unit.
Make the holidays a time that fulfills your heart and nourishes your soul, instead of feeling spent, broke and exhausted. Take the time to shift the to-do lists, the holiday plans, the decorating and the budget in order to make room for what is really important to you and your family. Write down 3-5 things you want to do to have your “Mom me-time” and the family quality time this holiday. Shift your focus around those things and celebrate in gratitude. After all, teaching our children what the holidays are truly about is one of the most important gifts we can give them.
Living a life of balance means living with purpose and choosing to do things that truly fulfills your core values.
The team at NAFBM wishes you a holiday season of family togetherness, heart-filled gratitude and selfless giving.